thief of time

Sunday, May 30, 2004

Spider and other Addictions

I have just almost won for the third time in a row at my game of Spider and think I will leave now while the getting is still good. I have a strong love/hate relationship with Spider, and find I have becoming far too dependant on it. The first thing I do when I sit down at this computer is play a quick game or two. If I win, it’s fine. If I don’t win, I have this strange compulsion to keep playing until I do.

I suppose it’s similar to a gambler’s addiction to the Pokies, except I’m not putting money down a slot with every push of the button—just wasting valuable time from my life. At least it should be valuable to me, but I just keep pushing that “New Game” button. I must try and break free.

This is what comes of getting a new computer. Free Cell was a passing amusement to me on the old machine and I was quite enjoying my Tetris type game until my daughter got on and by some strange fluke and, no doubt, a computer programming malfunction, managed to get up an absolutely unbeatable score. Both games were enjoyable, but not addictive the way Spider is.

I’ve always been a very bad loser ever since I was a child. When you’re young, adults are always trying to point out such philosophies as “it doesn’t matter if you win or lose…” and “you have to be a good loser, or look like a baby”, but I’ve found it’s not so bad being a poor loser when it comes to things like the Pokies, because it would drive me absolutely wild to see my money pouring down the maw of one of these machines, so I just don’t do it. Besides which, there’s the massive boredom factor.

With board games and such, I don’t worry a great deal one way or the other if I do win or lose, though it’s always nice to beat your husband, isn’t it? So, in a way, I thought I’d gotten above such things as being a poor loser, except where it was good and kept me away from gambling.

When it comes to Spider, though, I just find myself getting more and more determined to beat the darn machine. I know this is foolish, because the computer isn’t alive and isn’t even programmed to gloat--which makes it a bit childish of me when I finally do win and gloat at the machine. What’s the good of gloating if you can’t be getting a sulky reaction from someone?

Gee, I guess this means I’m a bad loser and a bad winner.


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